Broken Heart's Cant Mend
by evilsushi
Summary: Christian has lost the woman of his dreams, how will he cope? Will he move on? Will he join her in heaven? How far will he go to be with Satine? Read to find out! XD


Legal stuffies- I dont own Moulin Rouge or it's characters [damn it X_X] but I do own the plot so..no touchies!!  
  
Brakets [yah these] are authors notes. Feel free to comment about my story, good or bad I'll be happy with both. Once I get 5 different reviews, I'll publish the next chapter.   
  
The story's a bit hard to understand, I vary from Christian speaking to me narriating. If it's too confusing, do tell me so I can fix it!  
  
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Christian looked outside his window, the windmill of the Moulin Rouge twirling as it did everyday. The bright lights and crowds of men made the place seemed welcoming, but Christian didnt want to go out. He didnt want to eat, he didnt want to drink, he didnt want to live anymore. "Whats life without Satine?" he would snap. Christian drank, he shut himself out from the world. All hristian would do was sit on his bed and look out at the stars, clutching Satine's dress.   
  
"It still smells like her.." he sobbed, hugging the white gown as if it was gold.   
  
"Christian...please go outside, get some fresh air. If you go on like this you'll kill youself." Harold pleeded.   
  
"Go AWAY! It was because of you THAT SATINE LIED TO ME. IF IT WASNT FOR YOU WE WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY ZIDDLER, GO AWAY!!!" Christian snapped, he had no patience since Satine died. No appeitite, no emotions. He just sat in his room, sitting on his bed, remembering all the moments he shared and living off his sadness.   
  
"Please Christian, I'm shocked that Satine passed away , but there is no need for you to die too. I dont think we can take so many deaths' and loses in such a short period of time. Please Christian, please just take a walk"  
  
"No...go away...go away before I kill myself RIGHT HERE AND NOW!! " he yelled, getting up and exposing a small gun in his hands. Christian had been thinking about death and sucide for a long time. It had been 3 week's since he last saw Satine. The image of her pearly white skin, cold and blue. Her life-less limp body in his hands, her beautiful red lips, purple. He couldn't take life without her.Often he cursed God for torturing him. Often Harold heard crashing of glass followed by heavy sobs. There was nothing anyone could do, no one could save Christian, no one could bring him to relaity, bring him to move on. Sometimes it seemed like no one could even bring him to life. At times, people thought that Christian had died, the only sign of life left in him were his cry's.   
  
"Christian please, you promised Satine you'd write a story of your love, dont break a promise to her Christian."Toluse begged, he was standing next to Chrstians bed, his eyes, blurry. It hurt Tolouse to see such a talented writer, poet, bohemian drinking his life away.   
  
"Satine...Satiine.." Christian burried his face into his pillow, hot tears steamed down his face. His bottle of beer, crashed to the ground.   
  
:No one know's what pain I've gone though, the lies, the hurt, and the love. How can I live without her. Why? Why did someone so beautiful, so full of life have to DIE.: Often I asked myself questions about life, about death and sometimes even about love. What purpose did I have in life without Satine? It was no use, people trying to cheer me up. Only person who can make me happy is the woman I love, and she's dead. Rotting away under the very earth I stand on. As life carries on for all those around me, I linger in the past. Everything that happened to me the past few months, buzzing around my head insanly like a swarm of pissed off bee's. Everything reminded me of her, everything brought me to a smile, everything brought me to my knee's. I cried like a little boy, but i couldnt stop it.   
  
"Chrisitan..what would Satine say if she saw you like this??" pleeded Tolouse.   
  
"Satine would be in my arms, we would be half way around the world by now if it wasnt for the evil son of a bitch." I spat and yelled for Tolouse to leave. I didnt like being so harsh with my best friend, but I had no other emotion left. The waterfall in which love filled inside my soul was gone, dry, withering away. My body was withering away along with it, I felt myself grow weak as everyday passed, better off dead then having to go on with this torture. I kept most of Satine's belongings, I organized them in my closet. The closet smell's like her, the sweet perfume that covered her silky skin. I kept large locks of her beautiful red hair, in a wooden box that lay next to my bed along with my gun and a few of her jewels. I didnt cut all her hair off, I sitll wanted her to be the Satine I remembered when they burried her, but I managed to thin her heavy curls.  
  
*Knock Knock*   
  
"Who is it?" Christian asked, putting down Satine's white gown that was covered in steaks of tears.   
  
"Its Marie, now Christian I have to clean your room up orelse you'll be forced to leave. We're getting complaints from the health department." came a slightly muffled voice.   
  
Christian opened the door, his face still red and his eyes swollen. " No Marie, dont make me leave, I...please..dont..." Christian sobbed, dropping to his knees.  
  
"Oh come come now love, I wont kick you out, but I do have to clean this room up."  
  
"Promise...you wont go into that closet" Christian stuttered, pointing at the wooden door.   
  
"Of corse I wont love, now go for a walk with Tolouse, Satines things will be just as you left them when you come back", the old woman smiled sweetly.   
  
"Thank..thank you Marie" Christian mummbled.  
  
I was semi-greatful that Marie was going to kick me out, but still reluctent to let her clean my room. I rougly placed all my presious belongings into a drawer and folded Satine's dress, placing it ontop of my nightstand. I grabbed my black trench-coat and slipped my necklace on. I decided to string my room key and Satine's favorite ring onto the silver chain. Tolouse was standing outside my door, clutching his cane and his top hat. He smiled brightly at me. I forced a smile and we began to walk down the hallway, and eventurally out into the cold winter air. It hurt my eyes to go out, even though there was no sun. Tolouse and I didnt speak much, I was still getting adjusted to fresh air. Tolouse's feet made a small pluttering sound as he trootted beside me. His cane making a 'clunk' sound.   
  
"Christian, I'm glad you came out today. Do you know what today is Christian?" he whispered, breaking the silence and my trail of thought.  
  
"No Tolouse..I dont, what is today?" I sighed.  
  
"Today's Satine's birthday..."   
  
After he said those words, I stopped dead in my tracks. I never asked Satine when her birthday was...I didnt know much about Satine but I still loved her.   
  
"Oh...I didn't know that..."  
  
"Let's go visit Satine Christian, she diserves some fresh flowers doesnt she? And she must be very lonely Christian, we should go visit Satine..." Tolouse suggested. Her name brought me to tears. I stopped walking and pulled my fingers through my hair, I felt beads of water fall down my face.   
  
"Tolouse...I have to go, I...I just..." and with that said I broke off in a mad dash back to the hotel. Tear's streaming down my face. I heard Tolouse running after me, but I suppose I shook him off. Hot beads of water continued to swell from my eyes. I stopped at a small alley-way. The people drinking coffee and carring on with their lives began to stare at me, but I had too much on my mind to care about them. Changing my pace from a run to a walk, I caught my breath.   
  
:This place looks awfully fimilar....: Christian looked around at the small stores and pubs serving happy people, eventurally he tilted his head back to look up at the grey sky. Suddenly a tall black tower caught his eye.  
  
"The...its.the Gothic Tower.." he whispered, looking up at the large, dark building. Thoughts of Satine and the Duke flooded into his mind, cuasing him to clench his fist in anger and cry at the same   
  
time. Swallowing his grief, he dried his face and continued to walk back to the Moulin Rouge, dragging his feet and causing small clouds of dust to appear at his feet.   
  
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there first chapter done! my poor christian-chan T..T please R&R ^_^;; 


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